Hello internet perusers!  We are back with round 2 of the four part year break down of things to come.  Between April and June, the writers on HST have plenty that we are looking forward to in movies, music, and games,, and we want to share them with you.  No, none of these are April Fool’s jokes.  Zac is actually really excited to see a movie about male strippers.

Movies

The Cabin in the Woods (April 13)

Lauren’s #1 Pick:  As per usual, I included the trailer below, but honestly this is definitely a movie in which I think you should avoid the trailer.  I watched it when it was first put out and it seemed rather spoiler heavy, so I have avoided it like the plague since then.  I am just putting my faith in Joss Whedon (who co-wrote this) to create one fun horror film.

Heather: I’m not usually one for horror films, but this actually looks kind of intriguing.  I’d see it.

Zac: Avoid everything about this movie and just see it, that is what I am doing.

(Days pass)

Zac: And now I have seen it, it’s amazing, see it opening night with fresh eyes and little to no knowledge of what’s ahead.

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (April 27)

Zac: Aardman Animations, doing another stop-motion film.  Sold!  Film looks like silly and goofy British humor fun and its an adaptation of a great little book; this is going to catch people off guard how good it is I think.

Lauren:  [Shivers] Claymation … Still creepy.

Nate: I agree with Zac on this one.  Claymation can be extremely creepy, Jan Svankmajer is probably the ultimate example of that, but this looks absolutely gorgeous.  I’m sure in 3D it will be even more pleasing to the eye.  I think Zac is absolutely right and that it will completely catch people off guard just as Chicken Run did back in the day.

Lauren:  OOO Chicken Run!  See, with that alone you have reminded me of one example of this style that warms my heart.  Fine.  Count me in.  But if it’s creepy…

The Raven (April 27)

Zac: Hopefully more V for Vendetta and none of Ninja Assassin, the trailer looks fun and John Cusack could be great in the role as Poe.  Could be a darker Sherlock Holmes franchise if everything goes right.

Alan: I am so ready for this movie! I’m a big Edgar Allan Poe fan, and seeing his works getting translated into a murder mystery sounds like a great concept, hoping that it translates into a great film.

Lauren:  It’s like the pilot episode of Castle, but most likely far less hilariously awesome and sexually tense.  Maybe they’ll make the writer BA like as done to our upgraded detective in Sherlock Holmes as well, like Zac says.  Color me intrigued.

Heather:  Maybe it will be less hilarious than Castle (I should hope so) but Edgar Allen Poe is the master of all things twisted and creepy.  I scoff at you even comparing Poe’s genius to Castle.  In case you can’t tell, I LOOOOVE me some Poe.  If this movie gets the feel of his stories right, it will be nothing short of wonderfully horrific (in a good way!).

Lauren: I was just talking premise, and it’s not like Poe wrote this screenplay, which is definitely comparable.  So I scoff at your scoff.  Also, come borrow my seasons of Castle already.  Based on this conversation you would appreciate the Halloween episode of Season 2.

The Avengers (May 4)

Lauren’s #2 Pick:  What!? Two projects connected to Joss Whedon in such close proximity to each other!? Clearly I jest.  Well, jest I do not.  Whedon has always had a knack for understanding how to work with large ensemble casts, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Firefly, so if anyone can pull off a team of superheroes and give each their due, I’d put my money on him.  Plus if this works, we may be one step closer to getting a Justice League film.  But I have to say, I am really excited to see how Captain America handles modern day America considering how his solo film ended.

Heather:  So I guess I should maybe actually watch Thor without falling asleep, and then tackle Captain America in prep?

Lauren:  Yes, that would definitely be a great idea for prep work.

Zac: Looks good, Joss Whedon should definitely add a lot to this world.  I hear the talking scenes are as compelling as the action; look out. Hulk Smash!

Nate: I have not made even the slightest effort to see Captain America or Thor mostly because I knew this movie was in the works.  I am extremely excited to see this and I also felt the same as Lauren when I heard about this movie, in that I too am really hoping a Justice League movie gets made, but they would probably have to do a decent remake of Superman first.  I’m just really afraid this movie simply won’t be long enough to cover everything and that we will end up getting a shallow action packed mess.

Lauren:  [Lightly grumbles] Superman Returns was a decent Superman film…

Dark Shadows (May 11)

Lauren:  This has the potential to be really, really, stupid, but I am willing to watch pretty much anything Tim Burton puts out because I have always been a fan of his style and world building.  German Expressionism and all that jazz.  Plus, it has a great cast with Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, and Chloe Grace Moretz.  Then again, just cuz I am willing to watch Burton doesn’t mean I always like what he puts out.  This could be one of those.

Zac: I saw the preview before The Hunger Games and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how much I was laughing.  Looks weird and silly, and that period setting will hopefully be a fun playground for Burton to recapture that magic he hopefully still has in him.

Alan: Ok, I cannot get behind this movie. I watched the soap opera in its entirety with my dad a while back, and NONE of it was trying to be funny. Of course, this isn’t a straight adaption, but if you are going to use Barnabas as the main character, you can at least stick to the source material. I might see it, but I’m probably going to skip it.

Nate: I too saw this as a preview before The Hunger Games, and I’m pretty sure I did not laugh at any part of the trailer.  Most of the jokes were incredibly old and the story seemed absolutely awful.  I love Tim Burton, and Johnny Depp is always fantastic no matter how awful the movie is, and I am really hoping this movie turns out to be good, but right now I just can’t see it happening.

Moonrise Kingdom (May 16)

Lauren:  I don’t know why, but whenever I see this trailer it just reminds me of some modern day Shakespearean adaptation.  Must be its apparent epicness.  Now, I shall let Zac go on about this one cuz he is probably foaming at the mouth in anticipation.

Heather: This looks awesome!  But why are you foaming at the mouth Zac?

Zac’s #1 Pick (Tie*): *Homer Simpson Drool Face* The reason I am frothing at the mouth is because I LOVE Wes Anderson, and this movie looks like he has taken his last feature, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and merged it into live action.  I mean, the cast is worth price of admission alone, but seeing all these new faces play in Anderson’s world (Ed Norton, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton) along with the old staples is going to be a real treat.  Plus it looks like a blast, weird and hilarious.  Can’t wait!

Alan: This reminds me of what Garden State was when it came out in 2004. The trailer didn’t give anything really away, besides that it looks to be a coming of age movie that will appeal to everyone. Also, the huge cast makes it look so much better. This is one I’m definitely going to see when it comes out.

Nate’s  #1 Pick: This is without a doubt the movie I am looking forward to the most.  I love Wes Anderson and I will watch anything he does.  There has yet to be a single movie he has done that I did not think was absolutely brilliant.  Ever since Rushmore (my personal favorite of Wes Anderson’s) it seems that he has no trouble putting together amazing casts, and I can completely understand why.  It has been a really long time since a trailer has gotten me this excited to go see a movie.

Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1)

Lauren’s #3 Pick:  At first I would have said that in comparison to Mirror, Mirror this Snow White film would easily be the victor, thus why I want to see it.  However, it just keeps looking better and better as the release date nears, reaching for visuals that I really wasn’t expecting.  Plus I cannot wait to see Charlize Theron’s evil queen, who reminds me of some woman who would bathe in the blood of peasant girls from the nearby village to stay young.  I got caught watching something about vampires on the History Channel…

Heather:  This actually looks good.  Here’s to hoping Kristen Stewart doesn’t ruin it.

Zac: Having seen Mirror, Mirror, these two Snow White tales will have no problem existing in the same world as they will be almost incomparable.  As for this, it looks splendid; I like all three of the leads a lot, and the action seems to be very well done.  We will see.

Prometheus (June 8th)

Lauren:  One name: Michael Fassbender.  Oh, that not enough for you?  Well for anyone who knows Greek mythology, “Prometheus” sure doesn’t bode well for those involved in the movie, so I think it was safe to say that we’re in for quite the sci-fi adventure.  Plus, the screaming noise that accompanies the last portion of the trailer is also rather promising.

Alan: AHHHH THIS LOOKS AWESOME! I’m not a big sci-fi fan, but I know when something coming out looks completely amazing. Ridley Scott hasn’t really put anything decent out in years, but THIS looks like a futuristic masterpiece that will cement Scott’s name in film’s hierarchy.

Zac’s  #1 Pick (Tie*): The film looks stunning, the teaser trailer is phenomenal, and I am ecstatic to head back into Ridley Scott’s sci-fi universe.  The cast, again, is phenomenal here with Fassbender, Theron, Elba, Pierce, Rapace all primed to turn in top notch work for a top tier director hopefully returning to his A game.  Also can’t wait to see what another visual master like Scott does with 3D.

Nate: Ridley Scott making a sci-fi movie.  Nuff said.

Safety Not Guaranteed (June 8th)

Lauren:  As imdb.com describes it: “Three magazine employees head out on an assignment to interview a guy who placed a classified ad seeking a companion for time travel.”  Then add Kristen Bell, Audrey Plaza, and Jake M. Johnson and we’ve got ourselves some great potential for ensuing hilarity.  But the real question remains, in the end, will there have really been time travel?  And not just that emotional finding peace with the past or anything like that, but actual traveling through time.

Alan: This movie looks like it can make me feel everything. The cast looks great (didn’t know that Mark Duplass from The League was going to be in this), the trailer looks funny, and gives off a hint of sadness towards the end. FilmDistrict has been on a roll lately (they did Drive last year), and this will just be another notch on their ever-growing belt.

Zac: In for the cast and heard good things out of Sundance, I’ll be there.

Rock of Ages (June 15)

Zac: Tom Cruise sings as part of a fantastic ensemble that could be the next great musical feature based on what I know about the stage show.  A musical built around rock music seems to make a lot of sense and I will give Cruise a shot in anything he does, so I will see you in line.

Lauren:  Ugh… It’s like the font on the poster for this screams “Hate me!  Remember Guitar Hero!?  We’ll be just like that!”  But this one was actually saved by the trailer for me.  So take that Zac!  Trailer for the win!  That and musicals.  Musical trailer win.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22)

Lauren:  Lincoln did this much for us and all we did was stick him on a stupid penny!  That’s right, this is a true story.  Yep.

Zac: Liked Wanted a lot, been waiting for the director’s follow up, this should be a visual treat and a whole lot of fun.

Nate: I remember when I first walked out of the Des Peres 14 Cine and saw the cardboard display for this movie and knew right then and there that I wanted to see it.  I’m sure it will be bad, but the title alone has me sold.

Brave (June 22)

Lauren:  A new Disney/Pixar film is a new must see film.  Simple as that.  But who doesn’t also love a story about a girl doing more than what she is expected to?  That’s a story this tomboy can get behind.

Zac: I don’t really like the trailer for this, too many blue sight gags, but it’s Pixar so I won’t lose hope anytime soon.  The trailer alludes to something mythical going on here and I am sure Pixar will continue its killer run.  (Yes, Cars 2 counts)

Lauren:  I refuse to acknowledge Cars 2 until a good Pixar film gets a sequel!  I’m sure Nemo can get lost again!  And what about The Underminer!?  The Incredibles  have plenty of villains we haven’t faced yet, or more importantly, for Jack Jack to go crazy on.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (June 22)

Lauren:  Remember how at the end of Armageddon the asteroid was destroyed and earth was saved?  Well, what happens when plans to avert impending doom don’t go as planned?  While you’re deciding how you would spend your final days, you can watch what Steve Carell and Keira Knightley would do (a pairing alone that is worth seeing this simply because of how random it is).

Zac: Premise alone has me sold.

Beasts of the Southern Wild (June 22)

Lauren:  Here’s another film that just simply needs a storyline copy/pasted to peak interest: “Hushpuppy, an intrepid six-year-old girl, lives with her father, Wink, in “the Bathtub,” a southern Delta community at the edge of the world. Wink’s tough love prepares her for the unraveling of the universe; for a time when he’s no longer there to protect her. When Wink contracts a mysterious illness, nature flies out of whack-temperatures rise, and the ice caps melt, unleashing an army of prehistoric creatures called aurochs. With the waters rising, the aurochs coming, and Wink’s health fading, Hushpuppy goes in search of her lost mother.”  Sounds pretty weird, aka promising.

Zac: I don’t know anything about this other than that it is supposed to be great, count me in.

(Sorry, no trailer)

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (June 29)

Zac: I had fun with the first one and the addition of The Rock and Bruce Willis knowingly acting in a G.I. Joe movie might bring a lot of fun with this one.  Plus, that cliff ninja fight looks crazy cool.

Lauren:  Ugh… I want to like it after the trailer, and The Rock being a part of Fast Five probably helped keep it from sucking as badly as the previous films in the series (1 is still the best), so he could help here.  Plus, getting rid of G.I. Joe is very Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol…  But the first one just… It wasn’t good.

Magic Mike (June 29th)

Zac: Steven Soderbergh is back again for the third time in less than a year, this time with a dramedy based around the life of male strippers; partially inspired by Channing Tatum’s life.  This is the year of Tatum and I am sure this will cement his greatness as the new superstar of tomorrow. (Hopefully alongside Michael Fassbender!)  Plus, ladies, lots of hot guys stripping!

Lauren:  Yeah, this just sounds awkward.  I don’t know about you, Zac, but I may be able to resist my feminine urges to drool over half naked men.

(Sorry, no trailer)

Music

Of Monsters & Men’s My Head is an Animal (April 3rd)

Heather:  I have only recently gotten into this Icelandic band (I listened to their four song EP Into the Woods for the first time just a couple of days ago) but I am already hooked.  Rolling Stones Magazine called them the next Arcade Fire, and although I don’t really get the comparison, I am excited to see what their first full-length album is like.

Lauren:  Heather does know how to find groups that know how to blend male and female vocals.  She did introduce me to The Civil Wars, after all.  Ok, technically So You Think You Can Dance did, but I leave credit with Heather.  Also a fan of their EP, so I hope their full length CD will bring more soothing songs my way.

Heather:  Alan actually found a preview of their full length album on NPR’s website (thank you NPR… and Alan!)  I love everything about it!  Listen while its up:  Preview Of Monsters And Men’s upcoming album here!

Alabama Shakes’ Boys And Girls (April 10th)

Alan: I don’t know much about the band personally (besides listening to their first single “Hold On”), but as an avid listener of NPR, I’ve only heard great things. They’re not too country, not too folksy, just down the middle. The way I like it.

Neon Trees’ Picture Show (April 17th)

Alan: Since we haven’t heard a lot from The Killers for years now, it’s time for someone else to take the reins of the electric pop alternative genre. Neon Trees started out nicely a couple of years ago with “Animal,” but that alone didn’t catch on as much as it probably should have. Now, they have “Everybody Talks,” and I can bet that it’ll be #1 on the alternative charts in no time.

Jason Mraz’s Love is a Four Letter Word (April 17th)

Heather’s #3 Pick:  I love Jason Mraz.  And although I still prefer his earlier albums over some of the later ones, I wont give up on him.  Coincidentally, “I Wont Give Up” is the name of the first single he has released off his upcoming album.  I don’t really like it all that much (it’s pretty slow and in my opinion drags, not to mention he looks gross in the music video), so I hope it isn’t representative of what the rest of the album will be like. If it is, I’m in for a big disappointment.

See what I mean? He looks sleezy.

Lauren:  I actually think the song’s rather pretty, and I am usually not a big Mraz fan.  But my first thought was also, “why does he look like that?”

Jack White’s Blunderbuss (April 24th)

Alan: Firstly, let’s pour some out for The White Stripes, as they are no longer with us. Luckily, frontman Jack White is still putting out music (in more than one way) for the masses to enjoy his random genius. The first two songs I’ve heard so far, “Love Interruption” and “Sixteen Saltines” shows the creative directions that he wants to go with on his first solo endeavor – which is everywhere. He can be folk, he can be rock, he can be awesome. I have high hopes that Blunderbuss is going to be a complete success.

Carrie Underwood’s Blown Away (May 1st)

Heather: I’m not a fan of country music, but Carrie is the one exception I will make.  I don’t typically like her ballads much, but she sure knows how to put together some lively songs that make me want to stomp by boots and sing along.  Her voice is just so powerful and well suited to those types of songs, a la Good Girl, her first single.

Silversun Pickups’ Neck of the Woods (May 8th)

Alan’s #1 Pick: The level of excited that I currently am for the third studio album from the California rock quartet cannot be put onto a chart. It’s WAY above whatever mark would be the top. Before the Seasick EP that came out earlier this year, I was itching for something new from SSPU, and since then, all I’ve wanted was more (I have an unhealthy addiction of SSPU). Now, their new single “Bloody Mary (Nerve Endings)” is on loop on my iPod, and until May 8th, it will continue to be on my rotation of awesomeness. I’m only hoping that the album is as awesome – if not more – than any of the recent material that came out. Here’s hoping!

John Mayer’s Born and Raised (May 22nd)

Heather’s #2 Pick: Although I was not a fan of John Mayer when I first heard his music in high school, I grew to love him and have been a huge fan ever since (even if he does seem both shady and arrogant in real life).  He had to cancel his upcoming shows due to the recurrence of the granuloma in his throat, but at least fans will have his album to listen to while he recovers.  I can always count on Mayer’s albums to be consistently good, every time.  No flops for him!

Regina Spektor’s What We Saw From the Cheap Seats (May 29th) 

Heather’s #1 Pick: It’s been 3 years (in other words far too long!) since her last album Far came out, but I would much prefer her taking a bit more time to write good quality music as opposed to the never ending stream of garbage that many pop stars like Katy Perry mass produce.  Her first single “All the Rowboats” is perfect in my opinion, making this my most anticipated CD of the next three months.

Lauren’s #1 Pick:  Agreed.  Definitely far too long.  I am pretty sure that during my senior year of college I listened to her stuff every day on my way to school.  There is just something about her music and lyrics that really makes me happy.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros’ Title TBA (May 29th) 

Heather:  My friend Amy was the one who first introduced me to this band, and I hated them my first go ‘round.  I think my exact words to her were, “Ew, it sounds like hordes of terrifying children are singing along to these songs.”  Maybe that was being a bit dramatic on my part…  But just like John Mayer, Amy was right about Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, and they have slowly nestled their way into my heart.  I think the song called “Home” was the one that really did it for me.  I hope the next album is every bit the frolic in a sunflower filled field as the last one was.

Other notable albums include: Nicki Minaj, Trampled By Turtles, Bassnectar, Rascal Flatts, Spiritualized, Eve 6, B.o.B., Santigold, Norah Jones, Best Coast, Tenacious D.

Lauren:  Oh Eve 6.  I didn’t realize they’re still around since “Here’s to the Night.”

Video Games

Prototype 2 (April 24)

Lauren:  The first game had some problems, but I really enjoyed my time running/gliding around infected NYC as I pieced together what happened by obtaining info through consuming other people.  I mean, that’s how everyone learns, right?  And changes clothes.  Good times…  Point is, I can’t wait to see how they chose to build on a sturdy foundation.  Plus with a new protagonist, it will be interesting to see how the game brings in Alex Mercer from game 1 because this guy sure seems pretty devoted to finding him.  …Wait, what happens if we consume Mercer!?

Max Payne 3 (May 15)

Lauren: (Yes I did copy/paste this from our post about Q1.  Not my fault the game got pushed back.)  The only experience I’ve had with Max Payne was the movie, and I am going to pretend that never happened.  So I am coming in to this with virgin eyes, full of hope thanks to the graphics and slow motion action.  I enjoyed Wet, but this looks better because the slow-mo doesn’t look mandatory to rack up the kills (assuming a point system isn’t incorporated).

Ghost Recon: Future Soldier (May 22)

Lauren:  I have never really been big into military shooters, but for some reason I have always liked the Ghost Recon games during the 360 days.  It could be possible that Advanced Warfighter was one of the interesting games around launch time, but the 3rd person shooter gameplay was what kept me around for the second (not that there is anything wrong with FPS games, I just prefer 3rd person).  And now, with Future Soldier, I can yell military jargon into my headset at my boyfriend while we play co-op.  Or, you know, what I make up and convince myself is legit jargon.  I’m not perfect.

Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes (June 1)

Lauren:  LEGO + Super Heroes + video games = gleegasm, and not the breaking out into song kind.  Ok, maybe humming of the Batman or Superman theme songs, but nothing crazy.  Sure, these aren’t the most hardcore games since they’re family friendly, but that doesn’t stop them from being highly addictive.  Come on, you know you wanna play it.

Other notable games: Aliens: Colonel Marines, Darksiders II, Devil May Cry HD Collection, Diablo III, Lollipop Chainsaw, The Secret World, The Walking Dead, The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (Enhanced Edition)

The 1951 animated version of Alice’s story is far from the top of my list of favorite Disney films from my childhood, but that does not keep me from being overly disappointed in the additional trip down the rabbit hole in this year’s Alice in Wonderland.

13 years following young Alice’s nightmare riddled nights of a mysterious world with crazy talking creatures, Alice finds herself all grown up and in the midst of an engagement party celebrating the proposal that has yet to occur.  When the question is finally popped Alice decides to avoid responding and exercise her affinity for chasing clothed rabbits down really deep holes.  When she eventually makes it into Wonderland a welcoming party of a few familiar faces greets her and we learn that the run in with the rabbit in the real world was a planned occurrence on his part.  Apparently since the last time Alice was there things have taken a turn for the worse and the inhabitants have been searching for the right Alice to fulfill the prophesy of bringing an end to the Red Queen’s reign of terror.  Unfortunately for them Alice is less that enthusiastic about filling those big shoes.

The design work used to create Wonderland is definitely the highlight of the film for me, with a lot of beautifully constructed costumes and amazing CGI environments and creatures (including the Cheshire Cat, Jabberwocky, and both the red and white armies) filling out the world.  Unfortunately the story is not one to match the scale of the world.  The majority of the film is actually a revisiting of places Alice came across in the animated film, such as the room with the “drink me” bottle to enter Wonderland and the tea party with the Mad Hatter.  Though this set up plays into a memory sequence later in the film, it just seems like a bunch of uninspired allusions to the prior film as they play out on the screen.  What’s worse is that the time taken going through these familiar scenes overshadows Alice’s mission in this film, which fails to build as the film progresses.  Instead she just spends the majority of the film going through the motions as she prattles on about wanting to wake up from this dream with a chorus of “but you are our champion!” being spouted from the citizens of Wonderland, who are just hoping she will decide to slay the Red Queen’s dragon for them no matter how unenthusiastic she seems about the whole idea.  Once the ending finally does comes around it just seems rushed and tacked on, and continues to get worse as the credits get closer.

The characters of the film go the same way as the story, with acting that could have been much better from the talent collected.  Mia Wasikowska could have been much stronger as Alice instead of just sticking to her “I don’t want to be here” range of expressions and line readings, but I do feel like she has the potential to do much better with a stronger role.  Anne Hathaway is fine as the White Queen, amusingly playing up the upper crustiness in how she carries herself (which you will either find annoying or amusing.  I fell into the latter group, but I love Hathaway).  The actor who does the best in their role is Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, who shines in the moments when she is given more to do than just shout “off with their heads!”  Unfortunately, Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter is actually a weaker part of the film.  For starters, his character is far too difficult to understand.  He may be insane and should therefore be anything but cut and dry, but usually there is some mind to the madness.  Here it just seems as if Depp was given so much freedom with his interpretation of the character that he never actually finds it.  Furthermore, the spotlight he is given is just not warranted in the end because it pulls focus from Alice, who I am assuming this film is actually supposed to be about.  I mean, her name is in the title and everything…

On the whole I am a big fan of Tim Burton’s films, but unfortunately Alice in Wonderland is not something I can add to the list of his movies that I love.  Overall the design elements may create a really pretty world, but the substance just isn’t there.  And though it may have some of the craziness of the 1951 animated film, it fails to come together in its attempt to become something more than just a trip through madness.

Final Grade: D

Tim Burton’s latest collaboration with Johnny Depp is a gigantic, uninspired, and boring mess of an adaptation of the Alice in Wonderland mythology.

The story is a sequel to Disney’s previous animated version of Alice in Wonderland and picks up some years later with Alice, now nineteen, about to be married off to the son of an old family friend that is very well to do but Alice is still haunted? By reoccurring “dreams” of her trip to Wonderland as a child.  When the young man proposes to her in front of a giant crowd at a prearranged engagement party, Alice gets cold feat and runs off into the garden, chasing the white rabbit, and down into a rabbit hole and back into the world of Wonderland.  The look of the place has changed significantly and we discover from a few familiar faces that there is a long standing search for Alice and they aren’t quite sure if this Alice is the real one.  The prophecy is that Alice will return to Wonderland to rid it of the tyrant Red Queen and restore peace to the once jovial nation.

Now, I have a lot of problems with this film, but first and foremost I just didn’t find it at all that engaging or entertaining.  When the film isn’t seemingly just walking down memory lane of Wonderland, and it does a lot of this for the first hour, the story they try to concoct is so unoriginal and uninspired it just never grabs you.  The plot also has countless gapping holes in it, just ignores logic, and makes no sense on a number of occasions.  From the desperate attempt to give the Mad Hater some depth to his character, the complete surface depth of the evil characters, the use of CGI for Crispin Glover’s body, and the fact that nobody in Wonderland seems to like the Red Queen yet she is some how in power, these are just the tipping point of problems I have without spoiling things.

Possibly my biggest issue with the film is Alice’s demeanor and logic on her being in Wonderland.  She is convinced this experience is a dream, even though her old method of waking up from one doesn’t work.  Also, she doesn’t seem to remember or recognize Wonderland, how is this possible?  It doesn’t look all that different and she has previously told us that she is still having “dreams” about her first trip to Wonderland so why is everything so foreign to her?  It takes 95% of the movie to unfold before she starts to finally come to this realization and I don’t know if she ever acknowledges that she really had been here before, but more or less just bought into the laid out prophecy.

Burton given this endless world of imagination brings next to nothing new to table and the film is creatively dry if you ask me.  The moments that work in the film are re-hashes of the animated film, Cheshire Cat and the Blue Caterpillar are a pair of the very few highlights, and I just didn’t find the world incredibly rich or wondrous.  Also of note, the use of 3-D is just as uninspired and pointless and not necessary for the viewing enjoyment of the picture.  Avatar has spoiled us and I think a lot of the 3-D pictures this year will come across as a disappointment in that element as most directors are still trying to figure out how to use the medium.  The CGI in the picture, especially for one that cost two hundred million dollars, was also not that impressive stylistically or consistently.  There are a number of shots in the picture that do look gangbusters, don’t get me wrong, but for every winner there are two shots that look a little too eh.  Danny Elfman’s score is even an uninspired and unnoticeable element to the film.

The acting work in the film is also nothing to write home about and none of the on screen actors do anything special for the entirety of the picture.  Helena Bonham Carter is the highlight as the Red Queen but her part gets stale and repetitive in a hurry.  Johnny Depp’s interpretation of the Mad Hatter is bad weird and never really worked for me as he tried to give him a dark side, or something, on the inside.  The kookiness of the character never charms or is all that funny and it is probably one of the worst turns of the gifted actor’s careers.  Mia Wasikowska stars as Alice and she is unfortunately really flat and has no pep what so ever in the picture.  She dully delivers her lines and doesn’t have the cheery aloofness Alice has in the animated classic, Wasikowska does come a bit alive in the third act.  Anne Hathaway needs to put her hands down, Crispin Glover does alright and kind of weird work, but most of the voice actors do solid jobs in their roles.  Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat and Alan Rickman as Blue Caterpillar are the highlights of the voice actors, and the voice casting was one of the few things Burton got right.

In the end, Alice in Wonderland is nothing but a big mess.  Where the original film was a crazy and tripped out adventure through this mysterious and wondrous world, Burton and company try and give this iteration a plot that is stale, uninspired, and unoriginal that leaves us scratching our heads.  Beyond being unoriginal the film doesn’t really flow very well, idling with nothing much happening for the majority of the picture, and then tries to patch together a plot that makes no sense with gaping plot holes to get us to the finale.  The acting is weak, the direction uninspired, effects that are dull, and 3D that is pointless and misused there is nothing to really recommend about this picture.  A front runner for biggest flop of the year due to the talent involved, there are at least a couple characters and scenes worth checking out but this is a rental at best and the worst Burton and Depp film to date by a wide margin.

Alice and Wonderland is a F

Alice in Wonderland Trailer – Well it’s not quite what I expected, but that should be expected from Tim Burton. Check it out here.

Iron Man 2 Trailer – So what happens when a superhero reveals himself to the world? Check it out here.

Robin Hood Trailer – He may not be an animated fox, but Russell Crowe being angry and violent is hardly anything to scoff at (especially considering he is back with his Gladiator director, Ridley Scott, for this). Check it out here.

Mass Effect 2 Blur Trailer – Check out this sneak peak of a full-length version being released tomorrow on XBOX Live. Check it out here.

Shane Acker’s feature length debut is a bit of a half baked idea paired with astonishing visuals that in the end overcomes most of its short comings with its imagination and originality.
9 awakens in a world destroyed by war and immediately is thrown into an adventure to not only save a new friend, but to discover the world and what happened to it. 9 himself is a sack like creature (think Little Big Planet without as big a head) and he quickly discovers that he is not the only one of his kind milling about. The human race is all but gone, as a war with machines has decimated both their world and the species, and all that we are aware of being left is a group of frightened and reclusive sack creatures numbered from 1-9. The remaining group quickly tries to convince 9 to hide with them and not try and do anything heroic after the loss of the fourth member of their group to a monstrous machine that prowls the city. But 9 won’t have it and is able to sway 5 to head after 2 and the adventure soon becomes even bigger than they thought possible as a new threat arises from their search.
Now the whole idea of machines destroying the world and what have you I understand is a bit tired, but it is not the focal point and is more a catalyst for the story and the confrontations of the film. Above this idea lies an interesting and unique story about these little creatures that are enlightened by 9’s appearance and his gung ho attitude to see what is out there. Though a couple things might make you go wait a minute? 9’s motivations come out of no where and he seems to be acting just because the film needs him too as the hero. Now the origins of these creatures might help you rationalize why he is the way he is, but it doesn’t quite make sense and isn’t adequately explained. In fact, the end game of the picture leaves you scratching your head quite a bit as it is a touching end but doesn’t quite make a lot of sense again as they leave things to open.
But like I mentioned in the intro, the film mostly overcomes these confusing bits with incredible visuals and elaborate set pieces that will distract you from any of the awkward story stuff. The action scenes come quick and are beautifully executed with everyone playing a part that is involved in each respective scene. The battles are also just epic in proportions, taking place all over the sets and causing loads of destruction and drama for the characters in their peril. In fact, one thing that this film has going for it is its ability to establish anyone can go at any moment as a number of the characters will fall before it is all said and done. In particular, the attack by the winged creation on the characters is one of the finer action sequences of the year and was the stand out scene in the film. 3 and 4 are also extremely well done and are creative characters and will probably become your favorite of the 9 the instant they show up.
The voice work in the film is also very adequate with John C Reilly as 5 and Elijah Wood as 9 getting the most time in the picture. Wood brings confidence and go for it attitude to 9 but is more or less the same character from Happy Feet here. Reilly on the other hand creates this torn and vulnerable character that slowly emerges from his shell and is really the stand out in the picture. Crispin Glover as 6 also does some nice work, though he is delegated to the background most of the time.
In the end, 9 is a wonderful looking animated film that has a unique vision that doesn’t quite execute to its fullest. Be prepared to wonder why everyone is acting the way they are and hopefully you can make some sense of the explanation and ending as I don’t think it works 100%. But at a tight run time and a quick pace the film moves right along with some awesome action scenes grounded with wonderful production values and some great animation that will make the film more than enjoyable. One just can’t help but wonder what this could have been if they had worked out all of the head scratching plot details and made a more cohesive story. Oh well, its still worth your time.
9 is a B-

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp re-team for their 6th film together, and is my favorite Burton film since Big Fish, and is probably right there with Big Fish for his second best film behind Ed Wood.
The film is an adaptation of the Broadway show of the same name and is a full blown musical, so you idiots that won’t give a movie a shot just because there is singing, just go ahead and save yourself the time of reading any further. (I find it funny that a lot of people that grew up on and loved Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with Gene Wilder, say they can’t even watch musicals or grown at the mention of one.)
The story goes like this, Sweeney Todd(Depp) roles into London some years after being arrested and thrown out by a conniving Judge who wants to steal Todd’s, then Benjamin Barker, wife. He returns brooding on revenge and seeks to hunt down the man who took his life away. He returns to his past barber shop and home above Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pie Shop where Lovett(the always great Helena Bonham Carter) is still cooking “The Worst Pies in London’ and tells him that his wife is gone.
One of Todd’s shipmates is a teenage boy named Anthony Hope (Jamie Bower) and he has the anti-emotions to Todd about returning to London. He stumbles upon the rich district to find a beautiful girl perched in a window, Johanna (Jayne Wisener), singing about being trapped. We quickly find she is on lock down under the control of, Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman), who put Barker/Todd away, and his accomplice Beadle (Timothy Spall). The two kids sing a love song to each other and Hope gets a warning from Turpin to stay away from Johanna.
The movie sets up the main players with the first few songs and is a slow build up, but isn’t at all boring, and really gets going with the appearance of Sacha Baron Cohen as Pirelli a competitor Barber. Soon after Pirelli’s arrival Todd’s blood lust begins to boil over beyond containment and boy does the blood flow. I won’t go any further into the plot, but be warned; there will be buckets of blood by the end of the film.
As for the songs, singing, and acting Depp is great as usual and makes the most out of a pretty one dimensional character and is a fairly good singer as well. Carter is fantastic as Mrs. Lovett and steals a lot of the scenes she is in. She is also the best singer of the bunch and has the best, or is at least involved in, of the songs. All of the young actors have great voices with Wisener and Bower showing off their skill. I will give special mention to Ed Sanders who is the youngest of all the actors and is great as the assistant to Pirelli and has a wonderful singing voice. Cohen is hilarious as usual as the Italian barber, and does a good job singing as well.
The movie looks great, the CGI London backdrops might rub some people the wrong way, but I think the look is of Burton’s intention. I’ve already mentioned the grisliness and the gore and the movie is not for the squeamish, but you should still bare it if you are at all interested in the movie. There isn’t really any dance numbers like many Broadway shows but that doesn’t take away from this being one of the better musicals to be released since the revival of the genre with Moulin Rouge!. Now this movie isn’t as good as the fore mentioned Rouge, or Chicago, but I think it fits in as my third favorite of this new era for musicals.
If you are a fan of Burton and Depp this is a must see same for any fans of Broadway or musicals. The movie works most of the time and is never boring, just slows down once or twice. The darker fare might keep some away but they would be missing out on one the most entertaining films of the year.
B+

I’ll keep this one short. The Tim Burton produced stop-motion animated musical is a classic and one of the best of it’s kind. Jack Skelington tries to convince Halloweentown to throw Christmas instead of Halloween so Jack can feel something new in his life. I view this as a Christmas movie, but people celebrate this film just as much at Halloween, Disney decided to do the same. For three weeks you can catch this one in Disney 3-D at your local cinema and if you are a fan it should not be missed; but that doesn’t mean the 3-D is anything special. Most fans of this movie never saw it on a big screen, and seeing it on the big screen is a great opportunity, the 3-D is an added bonus that pays off few and fair between of the running time. The 3-D work pails in comparison to the Order of the Phoenix and Meet the Robinson’s, but it does give a bit of depth to the picture, and it seems like you are looking at the set directly and not caught on film most of the time, and maybe that’s all they were going for, but in the end I was a bit disappointed with the shtick. Let’s hope Beowulf looks better next month.
See it if you are a fan or have always wanted too, just to experience on the big screen with a couple of cool tricks.

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Now playing: Damien Rice – The Blower’s Daughter
via FoxyTunes