Rental Review – The Hurt Locker

The Hurt Locker may be a beautifully shot film, but it is far from the perfection I was expecting after all the hype it has been drenched in, especially post Oscars.

To sum it up, I think the best way to describe the movie is to compare it to the subject matter of the film, bombs (this seems like a really great and creative idea at 4 AM, so I’m just gonna go with it and see how it pans out).

Defuse Attempt: The Hurt Locker follows a team of three Army bomb squad members who are brought in to keep the ridiculous amount of bombs found in and around the streets of Iraq from exploding.  These scenes may not be as crazy and up-tempo as the bomb defusing scenes of the MacGruber SNL skits, but honestly the best scenes in the entirety of the film are those spent simply waiting.  The passage of time is marked with a countdown of days left until these men are home free, but its presence is more foreboding than it is hopeful.   [Read more...]

Rental Review – The Blair Witch Project

As many of you may know by now (considering I have said this on numerous occasions) I love horror films.  I love them so much that in the past I have gone to the movie theater on my own to watch them (and sat as far away as possible from the only other person in the room / creepy man in the front row) because none of my friends like the genre, and I am not opposed to watching them at home alone in the wee hours of the night with all of the lights off.  Well, I may have to stop doing this because I just found out the hard way that some movies really are a little too scary for those viewing conditions.

For those of you who don’t know, The Blair Witch Project follows three student filmmakers (Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, and Michael Williams) in the woods as they hope to get footage for their documentary about the myth of the Blair Witch. [Read more...]

Rental Review – Resident Evil: Degeneration

Resident Evil: Degeneration is an animated film that takes place within the timeline of the game franchise, and it probably would have worked as a game, but unfortunately it comes up lacking as a film.

Picking a new hub for a zombie outbreak, RE Degeneration takes on a whole new level of failed security and terrorist attacks at an airport.  For starters, a random zombie makes his way through the terminal, making his first meal out of a security guard.  Within seconds people are being turned left and right, and just when things seem to be as bad as they can be, a plane crashes into the side of the building, with even more zombies that were turned by one passenger pouring out of the planes door (how they got it open is still open for debate).  After a rescue mission is set into motion to save a few survivors trapped in one of the lounges in the terminal, it becomes clear that this incident is just an indication of what is to come. [Read more...]

Rental Review – The Stepfather

Though I am happier than ever that my mother has remained married to the same non-crazy man for all of my life after watching this film, the concept behind The Stepfather has a much greater impact on this feeling than the film itself, which doesn’t even live up to the other “horror” films of the same caliber (e.g. Disturbia. Yes, I realize that comparing these films may annoy many a film watcher. Let me just stop you right there. I know that both films are remakes and that one came before the other. But just look at them; if you only consider these two remakes then, in a nutshell, the movies are freakishly similar in look, story elements, and bikini-clad girls… This just doesn’t have the comedic power of Shia LeBeouf. Or tension. Now breathe and read the rest of the review when you are ready).
Following the murder of his family, David Harris is in the market for another family to get to know and kill. While perusing the selection at the grocery store, he comes across a family of the perfect quality with Susan and her two children. The next time we see them Susan and David are quickly heading towards the altar and/or a massacre, and Susan’s eldest son, Michael is returning home from military school. [Read more...]

Rental Review – Couples Retreat

No matter who you go with, when it comes to vacations some fighting and mishaps are bound to happen, but usually there are enough good moments to balance out, if not overpower, the bad. Couples Retreat tries to show these moments of both ups and downs (well, mainly downs), but in the end the trip is far too painful to enjoy.
Of the four couples, Jason and Cynthia are the most willing to admit their relationship has problems. After many years and unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant the stress of the situation has finally reached its peak, and they are contemplating divorce. Feeling that this is their last hope, Jason and Cynthia ask their fellow couples, Dave and Ronnie, Joey and Lucy, and Shane and Trudy to go with them to Eden West, a couples resort on a beautiful, tropical island. When they arrive they are forced to partake in couples counseling, and those couples that assumed they would be spending a vacation having fun in the sun are finding that maybe they have more issues than they thought bubbling under the surface. [Read more...]

Two Weeks Put Off By Mass Effect (AKA Reviews of Monsters vs Aliens and Moon)

For those of you who pay any attention to my postings then you may have noticed that there has apparently been little going on in my life, cuz let’s face it, we are not all as cool as Zac.  I mean, I didn’t even have one thing to put in a suggestion box last week. Well I can explain. You see, this little game came out a couple of weeks ago called Mass Effect 2, which you may have heard something about. Anyway, for the most part my waking hours not dedicated to “healthy” activities like school, sports, and eating (well, and TV, but I don’t think my attempts to spin that one will make it “healthy”) have gone to fighting baddies throughout the universe. With that said, I did manage to slip two movies in there a while back that deserve to have a few words said about them. [Read more...]

Queue Review: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

The newest animated tale from Sony Pictures Animation is an entertaining and fun adaptation of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs that successfully appeals to all audiences but doesn’t do anything particularly special to launch itself into the upper echelon of animated works, especially this year.
Our story follows Flint Lockwood a loner scientist who has spent his whole life inventing little odds and ends to try and better his life and the worlds. His latest project turns water into any food you can imagine and is built with the hope that it will help his little island town have a variety of food options as they are left with nothing to eat but sardines as their economy struggles after the Sardine company that gave them purpose has shut down. When Flint unleashes the invention onto the world it shoots itself into the atmosphere and begins to cause a weather phenomenon where it rains whatever food Flint transmits to the machine. Giving him a brief bout of popularity the situation soon becomes dire as the fate of his town becomes at stake. [Read more...]

Queue Review: Sugar

Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck’s second picture is another low budget indie effort that is all at once a fantastic portrait of both the Dominican baseball path, the pressures of the minor leagues, and immigrant life in America.
Sugar is a member of the Kansas City baseball school that farms players into their minor league system with hope of finding the next big star. We get a brief look at his life and relationships in the Dominican before he is called up for spring training and is given a chance to make it into the minor leagues. Where he is comfortable and familiar back home Sugar and most of his Hispanic speaking transplants are instantly thrown into a life of poor communication and awkwardness that is an almost unimaginable burden to even imagine. Making it by on French toast at the local diner Sugar is called up to the Single A team in Iowa leaving behind all his friends that came to the States with him and becoming even more of an outsider in as foreign of a place as he has ever been. Paired up with a host family and one of two rookies to make it to Single A out of spring training Sugar is not only given a chance to prove his worth at a high level of play but there are a lot of people that believe in the talent of his pitching arm. [Read more...]

Rental Review – A Perfect Getaway (Unrated Director's Cut)

My idea of a perfect getaway may not involve suspicion, violence and gore, but it sure makes for a suspenseful film.
A Perfect Getaway follows a couple, Cliff and Cydney Anderson, honeymooning on the Hawaiian Islands. While taking in the scenery of the great outdoors during an 11-mile nature trek across one of the islands, they come across a group of girls who have just learned that there have been some murders on the islands and that the killers have yet to be caught. Fearing that it might be the abrasive couple that they didn’t give a ride to and is now on the same hike that they are on, they decide to continue on with another couple, Nick and Gina. However, the idea of “safety in numbers” starts to seem fallible as paranoia sets in and everyone starts to become suspicious of everyone else, changing the hike into a game of “everyone’s a suspect.” [Read more...]

Rental Review – Jennifer's Body

Screenwriter Diablo Cody is back with Jennifer’s Body, following up Juno with another film about a foreign being taking up residence in a high school girl’s body. This time around she goes the demonic route with a darkly comedic “horror” film that sadly fails to live up to its full potential.
Though the title may apply more to the idea of her body being a vessel, Jennifer’s Body describes much more of this film’s title character. Jennifer is a very confident and outspoken high school girl who has no problem flaunting what God gave her. Unfortunately for her there is only room for one supernatural entity in this film. While at a bar with her best friend Needy, a weirdly explosive fire erupts, killing most of the people there. While in shock outside, Jennifer agrees to go with the band that had been playing that night in their creepy van, leaving Needy behind to worry about her. Eventually she shows up at Needy’s house covered in blood, starving, and sporting a really unnerving smile. Oh yeah, and she likes to eat people. [Read more...]

Netflix to Wii!

All three video game systems will now suport Netflix and this is a win for everyone. The Wii based viewing of your streaming queue looks to be handled simillarly to PS3 in that you will have to request a disc from Netflix, for free, and when inserted in your Wii it will connect to Netflix and display your queue and other suggestions on your screen.

The service is of no extra cost and you can request your disc now at Netflix’s Wii site.

This service really might be the greatest thing since sliced bread and if you own a video game system and don’t have it, do so now. Or go by a Blu-Ray player with it as well, totally worth it!

No news on HD service on Wii, though it is doubtful unless it recognizes if you have a component connection or not.

Full story at CNet. And Gadget Review for the awesome picture.

Queue Review: Gomorrah

This Italian mob movie isn’t as flashy or romanticized as many American gangster pictures are, but the films gritty and real life feel give the picture an extra weight and tension that you never know what is going to happen.
Opening with a set of hits that sets off a civil war among gangs, we follow a group of individuals that fall on both sides of the battle, young up and comers, a seemingly innocent bystander in the process, and a pair of rouge crooks reeking havoc for one bosses territory. As things progress through the film things slowly get worse and worse for those involved with the old establishment and lines are drawn with deaths tolls ratcheting up higher and higher as people grasp for power. Some of the characters we follow are the money handler who doles out weekly payments for the old time establishment, a young man who is being pulled into the crime working for an entrepreneur who deals with disposing toxic waste in neighborhoods back yards, a excellent tailor who’s employer gets him into unforeseen trouble in the competitive fashion production industry, a mother who must deal with the heat of her son sticking with the established crime bosses, and a pair of small time crooks who think they are hot shit and live life as if they were Tony Montana. The characters run the gauntlet of all the classes and people that are affected by crime whether directly involved or associated by proxy. That is the films real achievement, in showing how crime can affect anyone when things get this bad and as the final facts scroll across the screen the directors have achieved their message. [Read more...]

Queue Review: Jennifer's Body

Diablo Cody’s second screenplay is full of great ideas and a number of good lines but something keeps Jennifer’s Body from gelling into a well paced and entertaining picture that seems to be hiding in there like the demons inside our title character.
The story follows the school’s hottest girl Jennifer and her best friend Needy whose unlikely friendship is probably based on Jennifer’s insecurities but the two are friends nonetheless. The two decide to attend a rock concert of a band, Low Shoulder, who are from the “big city” and Jennifer dreams of hooking up with their lead singer. The band though is a bit odd and is in search of a virgin which they think they should be able to find with ease at this small town gig. Jennifer lies about her sexual purity to the band and seeing that they have found their virgin an oddly suspicious fire erupts in the bar killing many local patrons and Low Shoulder uses the tragedy to lure Jennifer into their van and off into the night. Later when Needy gets home, Jennifer shows up in her house looking rather messed up, puking black goop all over the kitchen, and leaving as mysteriously as she arrived. Jennifer shows up at school the next day seemingly fine and as the school mourns the students and citizens lost in the fire more people end up mysteriously killed and we learn something seriously weird has happened to Jennifer. [Read more...]

Rental Review: Terminator Salvation

The Terminator series has come a long way with Terminator Salvation in terms of graphics, but the story fails to meet the standards set up by the prior films.

In the year 2018, the machines still have the upper hand following their all out nuclear strike many years before on Judgment Day.  Though forced to live in hiding thanks to their decimated numbers, the human resistance has yet to give up the fight against the machines.  Taking place following the three previous films of the franchise, Terminator Salvation follows John Connor, who has yet to fulfill his destiny of leading the humans against the machines.  However, before he can become this man he has to retain the timeline that has been set by finding Kyle Reese, the man who will eventually go back and time and father Connor; the same man the machines are trying to find and kill, thus killing Connor as well.   [Read more...]

Rental Review: Extract

For a movie about flavored extract, Extract sure is bland.
For the most part, Joel lives a pretty mediocre life. He lives comfortably in his nice house with a nice car in the driveway, but its hard to be content with this with an annoyingly outspoken neighbor and a wife that uses sweat pants as if to say “you’re not getting any tonight.” What’s more is that his only escape from it all is the extract plant he built and now owns, but now it too is becoming more trouble than it’s worth for Joel. Seeing his escape thanks to an offer from General Mills to take the company off his hands, he finally sees a way to put his life back together. Too bad the factory has other plans for him. After a freak accident at work, Joel must now find other ways to bring about a happy return to normalcy before he loses his mind.
[Read more...]