I found Jan Brewer’s beheaded bodies, they are in…Machete!

The Grindhouse faux trailer turned feature length grind house film fits in perfectly with its predecessors, Planet Terror and Death Proof.  The film is just as over the top, gory, and ludicrous as those that aforementioned double feature and is filled with same game talent beyond that.

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The second feature effort from Anton Corbijn is almost as good as his first and is a quiet, deliberate, and sexy thriller lead by the great George Clooney.

Clooney stars as Jack/Edward, a hit man that is loosing his drive for the profession though is still as sharp as ever.  After a too close for comfort encounter with some enemies he decides to get out but his boss sucks him in for one last job.  Clooney doesn’t have to pull the trigger but is instead responsible for building the ammo and gun for a young female assassin’s next hit.  While secluded in the countryside of Italy Clooney still can’t feel safe from the Sweds and is constantly looking over his back as he puts together the pieces needed for the assignment.  Beyond the security threat, he also is coming to terms with his past and tries not to make the same mistakes moving forward.

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Going the Distance is dirty R-rated romantic comedy that has a grounded and believable couple surrounded by a top notch supporting cast equals a funny and entertaining flick.

The film follows Erin and Garrett a new couple that meets over a game of Centipede and when they fall harder than expected they decided to keep the relationship going when Erin has to move back across the country.  What follows is a realistic struggle as they cope with the distance, try to keep things alive, and deal with burdens of being 3000+ miles apart.  Friends and family give advice as each end of the couple struggles with the sexual frustrations, loneliness, and communication problems of being three time zones a part.  The struggle feels hard and is done very real and I can’t comment enough on how authentic they made the film feel.

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That’s right, my write-up for rentals has changed yet again.  This time around (and hopefully I will stick to it this time) I will write up little blurbs about the movies I have seen in the past week on Fridays, giving you suggestions for what to pick up and what to avoid when considering what to rent that weekend.  On this weeks list we’ve got: The Back-up Plan, The Last Song,  Operation: Endgame, Repo Men, The Runaways, A Single Man, and The United States of Tara.

Fight for the Last Copy:

United States of Tara: Season One

This Diablo Cody created, Showtime TV show is about a woman who has recently gone off the medications that have helped to suppress the other faces of her multiple personality disorder (or dissociative identity disorder).  Toni Collette plays Tara, and the way in which she moves in and out of these other personalities is pure artistry.  Though this is a serious topic, it does not shy away from the humor of it all, thanks in large part to the people she becomes.  In the beginning she is aware of three: Alice is a 1950s housewife, Buck is the redneck hick with a heart of gold, and T is basically the teenage slut, but eventually another emerges (but I will not spoil in for those who want to watch) in response to the overriding story arc of Tara digging into her past to discover what caused this disorder to take form during her teen years.

The show does not just stop with how this disorder effects Tara, but shows the strain it puts on her family.  John Corbett plays her supportive husband who i leading the search to discover her past and must constantly coral the other personalities (though he is far from ashamed of his wife). (more…)

Usually a man’s best friend is a dog, but you’ve got two guesses as to what Machete likes to keep at his side.  Evildoers beware; you are about to be introduced to his BFF.

Back in Mexico Machete was the one man on the police force that would make grown man weep if they heard he was coming for them.  He is tough, no nonsense, not squeamish when it comes to blood, and can get the job done.  But one day things go horribly wrong and everything is taking away from him, leading him on a path of bloody revenge against those who have crossed him.  Now mix in a whole bunch of racism and we’ve got ourselves quite the exploitation film.

Let’s face it, this type of film that pays homage to the qualities of a exploitative B-movie is not for everyone, and could easily create a love it or hate it divide in the audience.  But before you write it off as something to pass on consider the possibility that you might not end up on the side of the line you would expect.  Just take it from me, going in I wasn’t really expecting anything from this since any spooftastic film tends to rub me the wrong way.  They tread a fine line because they can so easily take things a step too far if they haven’t just completely run across the line on the over-the-top side of things (there are too many lines in this paragraph), something that is hard to come back from. (more…)

Following the recent release of The Switch, it seems as if we have made yet another step in the right direction of the realistic romantic comedy with Going the Distance.  Maybe not quite to the same extent as the former, but way better than that heightened, cookie cutter, romanticized nonsense, none-the-less.

When it comes to long distance relationships everyone always thinks that their love is stronger than the lack of proximity to their significant other, and Erin and Garrett are no exception.  From the first day they knew that things couldn’t last because Erin would be moving back to California in six weeks, but quickly things escalate from “keeping it light.”  Now they are stuck on opposite ends of the country with only texting, phone calls, and hope to keep them warm at night, wishing that eventually they will finally be able to live in the same city within the next year.

While together Drew Barrymore and Justin Long provide a great matching for this couple, working well off of each other (insert gossip about their on-again-off-again off-screen relationship here).  Yet obviously relationships like this and the plans people have for them don’t always go according to plan. (more…)

Shank’s revenge story might be a tale as old as time, but that is where the comparisons to a Disney film end.  Instead it provides a gruesome blood bath of 2D side-scrolling violence that would do Quentin Tarantino proud in many ways.

The player will take control of the title character, wielding an array of weapons to slice, shoot, and blow up goon after muscular goon that protect those who have made it onto Shank’s kill list, a la the bride’s in Kill Bill. And just like her, Shank has no hesitation in leaving unburied mass graves in his wake.  The controls of the game are familiar to most gamers with the simple options of jumping, light and heavy attacks, blocking, etc., with the different weapons picked up throughout the gameplay providing a nice variety to the action.  Whether you choose to button mash your way out of a corner or add a little thought to the mindless violence by figuring out the best way to take down the different opponents, Shank will look great massacring whoever is stupid enough to come up against him. (more…)

For weeks now Playstation 3 owners have known what it is like to be Scott Pilgrim while the rest of us (I am including me because of my achievement whore status) have had to sit and live vicariously through the film and books.  Now with the recent release on the Xbox 360 Arcade everyone can feel just how epic it is to live as Pilgrim in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

This game is no different from any incarnation of this story in that the player will work through seven levels with one of Ramona’s evil exes acting as a boss to defeat before moving on to the next.  However, this time around instead of just fighting as the title character, now Ramona, Kim, and Stephen are playable as well.  All four stay true to the spirit of their respective characters with hints at personality traits and signature moves to lash out at the throngs of thugs with, evolving more as they level up throughout the progression of the game. (more…)

Oh, Mr. Draper.  How far you have fallen and when we thought the hole could get no deeper you make it ever so.   (more…)

In this week’s Suggestion Box we’ve got the movie trailer for 127 hours, a trailer for the new AMC TV show The Walking Dead, and a whole heap of video game videos from Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, Brink, Halo: Reach, James Bond 007: Blood Stone, and Portal 2.

Movies:

127 Hours Trailer – Remember back in 2003 when news broke that a man was forced to cut off his own arm after becoming stuck between a rock and a hard place?  Well, now it’s time for Aron Ralston’s story to become even more famous with a movie.  Let’s just hope that James Franco doesn’t have to get too disgustingly graphic with that act.  Ugh… Just thinking about it is making my goldfish swim back up my throat… Stupid delicious cheddar cheese crackers…

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In all honestly I wasn’t expecting too much from my time with Mafia II because I was never able to finish the one Grand Theft Auto game I started because the gameplay just wasn’t for me (which Mafia II closely resembles), and in all honesty I think The Godfather is pretty overrated.  With that said I decided to give this game a try anyway because the video footage I had seen prior did seem pretty promising.  Before I knew it I was so immersed in the game that my inner voice was verging on switching over to a poor imitation Don Corleone’s speech.  It may not be perfect, but that’s a pretty powerful game in my opinion.

It might be well known that it is hard out here for a pimp, but no rap song is necessary to know that the mafia is no picnic either.  In Mafia II, protagonist Vito Scaletta knows this better than anyone.  In order to escape the poverty he was raised in he turns to crime, a lifestyle that will eventually lead to the organized variety with his entry into the mafia of Empire Bay, a path he hopes will lead to him having everything he ever wanted but never had. (more…)

This weeks we’ve got videos for films (Case 39 and The Next Three Days), video games (Brink, Epic Mickey, Dragon Age 2, and Halo: Reach), and a hilarious video from Funny or Die promoting Piranha 3D for the Oscars.  Check them out below:

Movies:

Case 39 Trailer - A horror film in which a little girl is taken in by a social worker (renee Zewhen she discovers that her parents are trying to kill her.  In actuality the danger goes much deeper than deranged parents when supernatural events start occurring to those around the little girl.  Hopefully it is just something clinging to her and not a hidden evil residing within the girl because even if her hair has the strong potential to be styled like the girl from The Ring, I have had enough of that.

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With the current surge in popularity of Nathan Drake’s treasure seeking world travels in the Uncharted series it would be expected that Lara Croft is feeling a little worried.  However, with Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light it is clear that she is too busy using the torch while raiding tombs to pass it off to Drake just yet.

At the start of Guardian of Light Lara has already found the treasure nestled deep within the Yucatan, but before she can start her victory dance an ancient evil is released from within the item.  Now she must work with the reanimated guardian to put it back in its prison before the sun rises.  With that said the co-op option is not online yet, so if you are of the solo sort then “working with” Totec is not quite accurate.  More like he goes his way and Lara goes hers, leaving her to fend for herself in this large labyrinth of jungle and dungeons.  But no matter, even without him tagging along there is still plenty of fun to be had. (more…)

A team of three is beginning to become very plainly clear to be the real heart and minds behind SCDP and one of those three doesn’t even have their name on the sign.

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For some reason back when God of War was released on the PS2 I never thought to play it, though now that I think about it there was a good chance that my system was already broken… Stupid broken systems… Anyway, now with the collection on the PS3 I had no reason not to finally give them a go, and thank the gods I did because they still hold up with the best of the games currently coming out (a lot of which God of War has acted as inspiration for).

In these games you play Kratos, a Spartan warrior with a love for soaking the ground with blood as the errand boy of the gods.  In the first installment Kratos is going on a mission to bring a stop to Ares, the God of War, who is terrorizing Athens.  Spoiler alert: In the end Kratos, being as BA as he is, kicks some Ares booty and is given the title of the God of War.  Which brings on the plot of the second game: Eventually the other gods on Olympus realize their mistake and devise a way to take this thrown from Kratos.  By doing so, Kratos is fueled to once again set out on a revenge mission to bring about the fall of the gods, and he is not a man you want holding something against you. (more…)